At POP, we help people just like you get the best possible tax refund in less time than it takes you to cook an omelette. With bacon, and cheese and tomatoes and maybe some of that green speckly stuff.
Man, omelettes are awesome.
Anyways, in the interests of realising how diverse our community is, here are a few examples of what people buy with their tax returns.
Kelly, 24, Waitress and Actress, Sydney
POP – “What did you buy with your tax refund Kelly?”
Kelly – “I went down to a local second-hand store and bought these amazing vinyl records. There was Led Zepplin, The Bettles, The Doors and loads more.”
POP – “Damn that’s cool. How do they sound?”
Kelly – “Oh, I don’t own a record player.”
Justin, 37, Construction Worker, Melbourne
POP – “Do you own a record player?”
Justin – “Huh?”
POP – “Never mind, we just chatted with this girl and… I mean you wouldn’t buy a car if you couldn’t drive it, would you? So, what did you spend your tax refund on?”
Justin – “Well I’ve got three amazing kids; two boys and a girl. They’re always telling me how much they love me and they like when I give them horse rides and play with them.”
POP – “How wonderful”
Justin – “Exactly. So I’m taking a week off and going fishing alone.”
POP – “You’re my new spirit animal”
Jeremy, 28, Physiotherapist, Townsville
POP – “Do you feel like an omelette?”
Jeremy – “Not really.”
POP – “Fine. So what did you buy with your tax refund?”
Jeremy – “Beer.”
POP – “You went to the pub?”
Jeremy – “No, I literally filled a room in my house with beer so that -“
POP – “Shhh…you don’t need a reason.”
Jeremy – “Want a beer?”
POP – “And an omelette?”
Jeremy – “I don’t have any eggs.”
POP – “Just a beer then.”
Stacey, 18, Student, Sydney
Stacey – “Would you like to buy some Girl Guide biscuits?
POP – “Sure, do you have those mini chocolate chip ones?”
Stacey – “Yep, here you go.”
POP – “Thanks. Did you do a tax return this year?”
Stacey – “What’s that?”
POP – “Don’t worry about it. I’m doing this thing for work so could you say something funny you spent your tax refund on?”
Stacey – “Poop!”
POP – “Genius. Also, I’ll take some of that butter shortbread.”
We’ve learnt a lot today. First of all, you don’t buy fricken records without a record player because what’s the point? Honestly. Secondly, fishing and beer are both good things and it’s healthy to spend some time alone, especially if you have three kids. Thirdly, ‘poop’ is funny, no matter how old and grown up you are, although Stacey’s mother, who was standing behind her, didn’t look too impressed. She said I was encouraging bad behaviour and being immature, but as I pointed out, it takes one to know one. Stacey laughed. Finally, omelettes are not as easy to come across as you’d think.
Food for thought.